Baby #3
(Elizabeth at 8 months)
Mid way through dinner I began, "So the boys have a secret to tell daddy!"
Micah gave me an intrigued grin, "Yeah?"
"Henry, tell daddy the news...." Henry was only 10 months at the time, so I chimed in. "The boys are going to be big brothers!"
I could tell that Micah was completely elated! We talked through the rest of dinner about how long I'd known, how I found out, and of course how excited we were. We decided then that we'd wait to tell the extended family until after the first prenatal so that we could find out if we were having a singleton or twins again.
(Meeting her Grandma Repke blanket for the first time- her lovey)
Prenatal and Telling the Family
At my first prenatal we found out that this time we would get to find out what it felt like to care for just one baby. I began to fantasize about snuggling my one baby in bed while Micah fed the twins breakfast...that is how it worked out every now and then!
I was also looking forward to getting to deliver this baby naturally. Dr. Kindred and I talked about how strong my uterus was when he delivered the twins. There shouldn't be any specific reason that a successful VBAC wouldn't be in our future. He also told me that if I ever wanted to have a natural birth, that this would be the time to do it with my first pregnancy after the cesarean I'd had with the twins.
We decided that we'd wait until beginning of September to share the news with the rest of the family. My parents had been invited out to the Repke farm to celebrate Micah's brother John's birthday. We thought it would be nice this time to get to tell all the parents in person at once. So we decided to slip the baby's sonogram picture into Uncle John's birthday card. We told him that his birthday present was a new niece or nephew. I remember that my dad was the last to catch on. It was obvious that he wasn't expecting another grand baby just yet. Surprise!
"The Problem of Pain"
I had the same subtle nausea that I had with the twins. But this time around I had two 10 month olds to tend to. I told Micah once, "If anyone is attempting to witness to one of their friends, and wants to give them a great object lesson about what Hell is really like...they should bring them to our house around 4 o'clock! They'll be converted for sure!" We laugh now, but yeah, not fun. But then again there's always the second trimester and they do say, "This too will pass...right." True, but not yet.
Just before Christmas during my second trimester, I threw my back out. Earlier in the year, before I was pregnant I had fallen down about 10 steps head first and had begun randomly throwing my back out every few weeks. I had feared that something like this might happen as my belly became larger. The worst thing though was that normally my back would heal within 2-4 days before I was pregnant, but not this time around. This time days turned into weeks and weeks into a months and still no relief from the pain. Most days I would lay flat on my back on the couch, only to roll off every now and then to take care of a toddler in trouble. My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law came over as often as they could to help out, and I'm not sure what I'd have done without them.
My friend Espi had suggested going to see chiropractor, Dr. Ehling, in Morton. I took her advice and within just a few weeks my back felt as good as...well...as good as it ever has. There were days that I wondered if I was just going to be crippled for life. It's amazing how pain does that to you. You begin to wonder if you will ever heal. I praise God for his healing work in my body over the past 5 years, and for those who He has brought into my life to bring that healing about.
Looking Good
(One of maybe two pictures we have of me pregnant with Elizabeth- crazy times!)
With every prenatal visit we would get good report after good report. Everything looked like we were on track for a natural birth. As we approached 36 weeks the doctor informed me that the baby was head down, but that the head was not engaged yet.
Kim, a friend of mine from church, had volunteered to help out as a doula for us in the hospital. I met with her once about the birth and chatted with her on the phone. We talked about a birth plan and what to expect during labor. The pushing still made me nervous. I hadn't been given the chance to practice it during Lamaze class when I was pregnant with the twins. I figured (and hoped) that pushing would come naturally.
When I went in for my 37 week prenatal, I was greeted by Dr. Kindred's midwife, Mary Tisdale. She told me that Dr. Kindred was on vacation and asked if she could conduct my appointment. When she checked my cervix she told me that nothing was happening just yet and that we should pray that it stayed that way until Dr. Kindred got back. She told me that the doctors on call were not as sympathetic to VBACs as Dr. Kindred was. I was rather concerned to hear this and begun asking everyone to pray that labor would hold off until my doctor returned. I was careful not to do anything that might start labor too soon. With every check up I was told that everything looked good and that my body didn't seem to be anxious to go into labor just yet.
Blindsided
By the time Dr. Kindred returned from his vacation, I was heading in for my 41 week check up. I came in on Tuesday, April 26th with Micah by my side. I thought that we might talk about induction, and I wanted Micah there with me to help me to convince the doctor if need be that we'd like to hold off on any medication. They did a sonogram to see how the baby was doing. The tech told me that the amniotic fluid looked rather low and that Dr. Kindred would need to talk to me about it. When the doctor came in he immediately brought up the distinct possibility of a CSection. Our defenses were immediately up. We couldn't understand why this would be necessary. He told us that once a baby becomes over due the possibility for a still birth rises dramatically. When he saw the picture of the amniotic fluid, he became more adamant. He told me that if the fluid didn't rise within the next couple of days that we'd need to do a CSection. He told us that there was no way of telling exactly how much fluid was still there since there was a pocket of fluid around the placenta and that that couldn't be counted in the percentage. He said that I was at a 0.6 and they don't like to see fluid drop below a 0.7.
We asked why I couldn't be induced (we didn't expect to be begging for an induction that day). He told me that since my cervix was still hard and since I hadn't been experiencing any contractions (not even braxton hicks) that my body wasn't ready for pitocin. He told me that there was something called cervidil that would help to soften my cervix, but that he couldn't give that to me since I was a previous CSection.
Needless to say both Micah and I were discouraged. It felt like we had worked so hard to have a natural birth, only to find out that there wasn't a lot we could do. The doctor did tell us that he could give me 2 more days to do everything I could to raise my fluid levels and get natural labor to start. This was encouraging, but when you realize that most of the activities used to start natural labor are opposite of what you're told to do to increase fluid levels (lay on your left side for hours at a time) you begin to wonder what exactly you are supposed to be doing.
My next appointment was set for Thursday afternoon. I went home and my mom came over for the next few days to help me care for the twins while I rested and tried different labor inducing activities. The morning before my appointment I had set up a chiropractic/ acupuncture appointment. On the way home I picked up some Red Raspberry Leaf tea to help get contractions to start. I had also been using the nursing pump and Evening Primrose Oil.
When I arrived for my prenatal appointment the first step was the ultrasound. Sure enough we found out that despite our best efforts the fluid had drastically lowered instead of increased. It was now close to a 0.1. After checking my cervix Dr. Kindred told me that there still wasn't any indication of my body being ready for labor, no softening, no dilating, etc. About that time Dr. Kindred had to rush off for a birth at the hospital. I was given a non stress test to see how the baby was doing. I remember fighting back tears as the lady in the other testing chair chatted casually with me. When Micah arrived at the doctor's office we decided to ask for a second sonogram to be done. There had been talk that there was a pocket of fluid around the placenta that couldn't be factored into the percentages since there was no way of telling how much fluid was actually there. We thought maybe something would have changed with a second sonogram, or at least that we could rule out any errors. The second look offered no extra information and everything looked the same. Since I still wasn't dilating, softening, etc. the nurses told me that Dr. Kindred wanted to schedule a CSection for that evening. We told the nurses that we'd like to talk to Dr. Kindred before we scheduled the surgery to make sure there wasn't any other options. Micah told me that his strongest memory of that time was me sitting on the floor of the doctor's office unable to fight back tears. Dr. Kindred reassured us over the phone that he had heard of a woman who had had several CSections. He also told us that with a following pregnancy, he'd be willing to consider a VBAC if my uterus looked strong. We found a small amount of comfort.
We went home and called our friend Kim who was set to help us with the birth. We also called a local midwife to find out if she knew of anything else we could do. The best advice we were given was to do everything we could to continue to get labor going between then and the surgery. So I basically kept bouncing on my birthing ball and praying. We had told Dr. Kindred that we'd schedule the surgery, but that I didn't want to go in until he had checked my cervix again to see if there was any progress. The non stress test had confirmed that the baby was doing well, but Dr. Kindred reminded us that with the low fluid at any minute she could begin to be in distress.
The Birth
(Finally holding my daughter in the hospital)
We eventually made it to the hospital after packing up and making calls. When Dr. Kindred checked me and they put me on a monitor, they could tell that there were very small contractions happening (that I couldn't even feel), but that my cervix was not even beginning to soften still. This confirmed the need for surgery. Our pastor and his wife, James and Stacy McDonald came to pray with us. My friend Kim used essential oils and her best words to encourage me. I did everything I could to focus on what Dr. Kindred had told us about there being hope for a successful VBAC in the future.
I was prepped for surgery. There is a lot I don't remember about that time since I must have been in a fog. I don't remember when exactly they said she was born. I know it was in the 9 pm hours. I also don't remember Dr. Kindred commenting on whether or not my uterus was strong. These are 2 things that I wish I'd paid attention to. I do remember Micah saying, "It's a girl!" We had known the genders of our twins, but had chosen to be surprised with this birth. So on Thursday, April 28th, 2011, Elizabeth Grace officially joined the Repke family weighing in at 7lb 6oz!
They wrapped my Lizzie girl up and brought her over so I could see her. It was a wonderful moment. Not too long after they had brought her over she began making grunty noises. I heard Dr. Kindred tell the nurses to take her to the nursery area to check on her breathing. I didn't think a lot of it at the time. When I woke up in the recovery room I was told that Lizzie was still on the breathing machine. By the time that I could finally go see her in the nursery area, they had determined that Lizzie must have inhaled some meconium and now had a condition called pneumothorax. There was a small hole in her lung making it hard for her to breathe. I was told by our pediatrician, Dr. Smith, that they would need to take her to the NICU at a near by hospital.
Those were two very difficult days being separate from my newborn. Micah and my dad stayed with Lizzie at OSF hospital, while my mother in law stayed with me at Methodist. My sister- in-law Liesl graciously offered to stay with Martin and Henry. I healed up from surgery as quickly as possible and was released in two days to go be with Lizzie and Micah at OSF. The doctors were amazed at how quickly her lungs healed. They said that by the time she was dismissed there was no trace on her lungs that she'd even had a small hole. We were very grateful to the Lord that her condition wasn't more serious.
Elizabeth is now 2 years old and loves being the family's little princess!
We all praise the Lord that even though things didn't work out as we would have liked, that he sustained both of our lives and gave us strength to press on.
(The whole family after her first or maybe second Sunday at church)
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